Emperor: I told you to remain on the command ship.

Vader: A small Rebel force has penetrated the shield and landed on Endor.

Emperor (no surprise): Yes, I know.

Vader (after a beat): My son is with them.

Emperor (very cool): Are you sure?

Vader: I have felt him, my master.

[Vader inexplicably stirs. The Emperor notices this, but continues]

Emperor: Strange that I have not. I wonder...did you notice that, Vader?

Vader: What?

Emperor (standing up): How perverted and disgusting that last line of mine was.

Vader: Yes. As was mine.

Emperor (walking to Vader): So that's what you stirred at?

[Vader nods. He and the Emperor are now standing face to face, in deep thought.]

Emperor: You know I'd never do that. 'Feel your kid,' that is.

Vader: Oh, of course. I wouldn't either. I'd probably punch him, especially for jumping into that shaft back on Cloud City. Little bastard, sometimes I just wanna...!

[Vader motions his hands to suggest a severe choking of his absent son.]

Vader: Sorry.

Emperor: No problem. If I had a punk kid like that, I'd choke him out too.

Vader: You sayin' my son's a punk? Is that what you're sayin'?!

Emperor: No, I'm just saying...

Vader: Listen, 'master,' you don't cut the crap and I'm tossin' you down that reactor shaft! (points behind him)

Emperor: Calm down, old friend, calm down.

[Vader's breathing, now fast and heavy, slows down.]

Vader: I apologize. I get carried away like that now and then.

Emperor: Again, no problem (backs away and walks back to his throne, and sits down) But from now on, let's try to use less...explicit language, okay?

Vader: Yes my master.

[Vader and the Emperor look at each other silently]

Vader: I probably shouldn't call you 'master' anymore either, huh?

Emperor: Yes, that'd be good, or else people'll start thinking we're...you know....

[Vader catches the implication and nods affirmatively. Then behind them, the elevator opens and Moff Jerjerrod emerges from within. He walks up the steps and stops beside Lord Vader.]

Emperor: What is it, Commander?

Jerjerrod: It's 'Moff,' my lord.

Emperor: But you're wearing a commander's pin.

Jerjerrod: A costuming error, m'lord. We've been trying to get it fixed since Admiral Piett got his new outfit and threw a tantrum thinking he had been demoted.

Vader (aside): Probably should've demoted the big baby.

Emperor: What was that, Vader?

Vader: Oh nothing. Just clearing my badly-damaged-thanks-to-that-rat-bastard-Kenobi lungs.

Emperor: Whatever. As you were about to say...Moff.

Jerjerrod: Yes, m'lord. I just wanted to come up here and apologize to Lord Vader for an off-hand remark I said to him some time ago. When he got off his shuttle, I told him that I 'needed more men.' Just to clear it up, sirs, I meant I needed more workers, and not that I've got some sick homosexual fetish or something...

Vader: Yes, yes, you're forgiven.

Emperor: You know, some day, a long time from now in a galaxy far, far away, I have the feeling that someone is going to make a humorous list of all these sexually-tilted lines we've said...